So, I recently started a so far, semi-legitimate photography business. I'm loving it. I was loving it. You know when you do something, just because you can and want to at the time, but as soon as someone TELLS YOU to do it, you totally don't want to. Okay, this analogy isn't working well, how can I explain this... straight forward > I love taking pictures, I am passionately in love with it.... BUT, making an appointment with someone to take the kind of photos THEY are looking for, the pressure to make them perfectly the way they want it, the fear that it might not be good enough, it's starting to make me feel anxious. Anxiety is the worst feeling in the world.
Is this dream of mine going to slowly kill the passion I have for this gift I've been given? Isn't it everyone's dream to be able to make a living by doing what they love, by pursuing a hobby? Why is this turning out to be a burden?
Now, if I decide that maybe I got in over my head with this business, and drop out, I'll have my freedom back to photograph what I want to, to be an artist of what I choose... but I will feel like a failure, a quitter. Every business has its ups and downs, I realize I need to take the bad with the good, but the scale needs to be in proportion, and if things were weighing in the right way, would I feel like this? Can a person be so strong willed and yet so weak all at the same time? That's me, in a little nut shell. A hard outer layer with a soft and chewy inside. I don't know what to do.
